Award–Winning Author of The Full English, Death by Children, and The Beat Cop's Guide.







Get the new travel memoir in which the author is trapped on a bus filled with death defying traveling elderly and their daily dose of environmentally hazardous gas for 15 days. Join Bull Garlington as he brings his highly religious mother to Stirling Castle where they are threatened by bespangled marital aids; listen to his [ATTORNEY] scream at him at the Cliffs of Moher; marvel with him at three in the morning collecting tart cards and dodging drunks on Tottenham Lane in Soho; watch in horror as he and his mother nearly burn down the only gay hotel on the Mersey.  Learn to Quaint!  Learn how to properly pronounce Edinburgh! Enjoy the only slightly biased review of a Mexican restaurant on the Royal Mile. And join him in his enduring, all consuming, furious hatred of his mortal enemy, the scourge of the Lullabus, the spinster of the Acheron: Beatrice.

A Very Amusing Headline

(Available in 2017!)

Bull Garlington is an award winning humorist and popular speaker.


His most recent book, Death by Children, was a 2013 book of the year finalist for the Midwest Publishers Association, and the Indiefab 2013 Humor Book of the Year by the prestigious industry standard, Foreword Reviews.


Garlington’s features have appeared in newspapers and magazines across the nation since 1989; he won the Parenting Media Association’s Gold Award for best humor column in 2013, the Silver Award for best humor article in 2012, and the bronze in 2010. He is co-author of the popular foodie compendium, The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats. His short stories have appeared in literary magazines, including Slab, Bathhouse, and The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature.


Bull is the impresario behind the wickedly exclusive underground supper club, Eating Vincent Price; a member of Chicago Writer's Association, Midwest Authors Association, Chicago Women in Publishing, and the Author's Guild. He is also a Past Master of ILAF&AM Lodge #1075, a Turtle, founder and conductor of the Weisse Ucke Singers, and founder and Emperor Emeritus Absurdum of the Greater Chicago Astrophysicists & Big Game Hunter's Music Appreciation Society.


Bull was born in Birmingham, AL. He is married to [ATTORNEY] with whom he has two children. They live in Chicago. Bull is the founder of Creative Writer PRO, a content company focused on humor and creative marketing.

Side splittingly, drink spittingly, pants peeingly funny.

Available in 2017, this  once in a lifetime trip through the U.K. in which our author is unable to remain awake, caned by the elderly, and asphyxiated by the noxious fumes of the eponymous breakfast. A book that is essentially the Odyssey—with more farting.

Mind blowingly, ass kickingly, inspirationally amusing.

Only available by request. What started as a personal writing tool for the author has turned into an underground success story, helping new and established writers ramp up their productivity, stay focused, and build a library of finished work. If you're serious about becoming a professional writer, this guide book will be your new favorite tool.

Award winningly, pants poopingly, nose pickingly hilarious.

Edgy, rude, self-deprecating and—most importantly—hilarious, this collection of blog posts and columns from award-winning humorist Christopher “Bull” Garlington serves as uproarious evidence that fatherhood is hard, often messy, and always life-altering work. Where other parenting memoirs focus only on the diaper years,ᅠDeath by Childrenᅠproves that a father’s job only gets more complicated as children move into adolescence and prepare to leave the nest. Parents—and dads in particular—will have no trouble recognizing their own daily struggles in the humorous and engaging anecdotes gathered in this book, including favorites "Happy Pulaski Day!" "Poison Control Poster Child Training," and "Raised by Google." (Sadly, out of print but still available from the author!)

Humor Book of the Year, Winner


Humor Book of the Year, Finalist

Midwest Independent Publisher's Association